It’s toilet training time!

Many children won’t be able to show signs of potty readiness until their language skills develop, and some may never give any signs that they are ready to toilet train. For this reason, you don’t need to wait until your child tells you or shows you that they want to use a potty before you start teaching them the skills they need. 

Instead, helping your child learn as they go along, according to what they are capable of at each stage of development, gives them a gentle learning process towards stopping using nappies. 

Here are a few things you can do to help your child gain body awareness and prepare them for potty training: 

• Check that they are passing some soft poo every day and there’s no underlying constipation. If you think your child might be constipated, it’s important to get this sorted before you stop using nappies. Read more about what to do in the event of constipation here.

• Make sure they are having plenty of water-based drinks on top of any milk. Keeping their bladder and bowel healthy and working properly will help with potty training. 

• Try to change nappies or pull-ups as soon as they are wet or soiled. This teaches your baby that it is normal to be clean and dry. 

• Once they can stand, do nappy or pull-up changes standing up and involve them in cleaning up and flushing poo down the toilet. Talk to them whilst you’re doing it so they begin to understand where wee and poo goes and the language we use for the toilet and how our body feels. 

• Regular, short periods without wearing a nappy or pull-up can help prepare your child for how it will feel when they stop using them completely. Let your child have some nappy off time for up to 30 minutes after they’ve done a wee or poo. This will help them get used to not wearing it, without having an accident. 

• You can also begin to talk to your child about toilet training and involve them from the start. For example, you might like to go together to buy pants, a potty, a child’s toilet seat and a step (they’ll need the step to give them stability when sitting on the toilet – it’s also easier to poo if your feet are on a flat surface). 

As soon as your child can safely sit up by themselves, they can start on a potty with your help and supervision.  

If you’re using a potty, agree with them where you’ll keep it so they always know where it is. The best option is to store it in the bathroom or toilet so they keep hold of the idea that these rooms are where we all go to wee and poo. You may also want to read some toilet training stories together (ask your local library for recommendations).

Don’t forget at this practice stage they can still wear a nappy, but it will boost their capabilities and awareness if they have some nappy free time and potty sits. It’s a good idea to put your child straight into pants when they wake up in the morning. That way, they’ll get to experience what it’s like to be wet and start to recognise the feeling that goes before as the sensation of needing to wee. 

Good times to try a potty sit include: 

• Shortly after waking up 

• Shortly after having a drink 

• After mealtimes 

• Anytime that you notice your child might need to use the potty 

You can also encourage them to sit on the potty every couple of hours, and if they ask for the potty in between, even better! If your child tends to poo at the same times of the day, encourage them to sit on the potty at this time. As they’re getting used to being out of nappies, you’ll need to remember to give your child frequent gentle reminders to sit on the potty or toilet. 

Boys should start off by sitting down on the potty too. It will help them to feel comfortable enough to poo as well if they need to. 

If you start toilet training, and your child is adamant that they don’t want to use the potty, just leave it for a while and try again a few weeks later. 

Once you’ve helped to grow your child’s body awareness and they begin to develop confidence in what they’ve learnt, you can then start to build in and give opportunities to practice some more advanced skills. These include: 

• Words or signs that they can learn to help communicate their needs to you 

• How to push their pants down and pull them up again afterwards 

• Good personal hygiene: the correct way to use toilet paper for wiping, handwashing and drying 

Make sure girls wipe from front to back. This skill may take time to develop so encourage them to take their time.

Give your child lots of praise, not just for weeing and pooing, but also for remembering to flush the toilet, wash their hands and getting themselves dressed. Stickers are great as an instant reward. 

There will be plenty of accidents at first, so stay calm, clean up the mess and move on. Even when you think you’ve ‘cracked it’, there may still be the occasional accident – children get absorbed in their play so can either forget about using the potty or toilet altogether, or not get there in time. Again, keep calm and continue to praise them when they do remember. To make using the potty or toilet fun, keep a special bag of wipe-clean toys nearby. Change the toys from time to time to keep their interest. 

Children should be encouraged to drink between six and eight cups of water-based drinks a day. Avoid fizzy drinks or those with caffeine – they’ll make your child wee more often. Don’t cut down the number of drinks your child has when you’re toilet training – they need to stay hydrated. 

Make sure your child is pooing regularly – at least four times a week. Their poo should be soft and easy to pass, not hard or like ‘rabbit droppings’. If their poo is runny or smells very bad, talk to your health visitor or GP as it could be a sign that they’re constipated. 

Read our top ten toilet training tips for more advice and guidance when it comes to potty training your toddler.

1. They lose interest – try to find other ways of praising them, perhaps introducing some different stickers or a different reward system.
2. They refuse to use the potty or toilet – if your child runs away and won’t sit down, stay calm and positive. Try to make the time they’re sitting on the potty or toilet a special time for just the two of you when you sing, play or read a book together. It may mean your child isn’t ready, so take the pressure off by going back to nappies and trying again in a few weeks’ time.
3. Going out and about –be prepared by making sure you know where there are nearby toilets. At the beginning, children can’t wait. Try using a ‘pull-up nappy’ outside their pants. That way they’ll still feel wet but you’ll avoid the puddles on the floor! You may want to take a potty with you for emergencies (although you’ll have to think about where to empty it!) You can buy fold-out potties that you fill with lined bags which absorb the wee. If you’re going on a long journey, make sure you have regular toilet stops
4. They refuse to poo on the potty/toilet – some children don’t feel comfortable or safe to poo on the potty/toilet at the beginning. Don’t worry about this, it’s more important that they do poo when they need to, so if they need to do that in a nappy, that’s OK. Continue with toilet training and encourage them to tell you when they need a poo so you can put a nappy back on. Keep a stash of these near the toilet. If you see them wiggling about, try to get them to sit on the potty or toilet before putting the nappy on. You may want to try sitting them on the toilet with their nappy on, then undo it while they’re still sitting there, letting the poo fall into the toilet. Clean them, then encourage them to flush the toilet and wash their hands. After a couple of weeks progress, try without the nappy. If you continue to have problems, talk to your health visitor.

You can follow exactly the same training process when toilet training a child with additional needs, although you may encounter certain challenges.

Read more about toilet training children with sensory needs.

Your child may not be able to tell you when they need the potty, so try to spot the signs that show they need to go, for example wiggling about, holding themselves or going quiet. Knowing your child’s routine is important as it will help you to plan their toileting. Make sure your child’s comfortable and able to sit safely on a toilet or potty. Your occupational therapist might be able to advise you about special seats or specialised equipment. 

The longer they wear nappies, the harder it may be to introduce a new place for them to wee and poo. So try not to put off potty training for too long. 

Watch this video from ERIC to find out more about potty training: